Today, we learn with our natives so there was so much free time, so i had a lot of time drawing my manga. But after that it was awful.
When we were about to go home, my friend told me that "My" friends badmouth me. well i wasn't really upset the badmouthing, it's just, when you have a friend you trust and badmouthing you behind your back, it hurts right? Even though i'm used to it, i don't really care because they show it that they don't like me, but when you have a friend you trust, and always help each other and laugh together then bed mouthing you behind, it really hurts me even though it's not how they really feel. i mean i know sometimes people lie to adapt their surrounding but i just don't like it. i never done anything to them (except for joking, and if that hurt their feeling i'll immediately apologize), i always help them when they need it, i never think ill will of them. but why does this always happened to me, even ever since elementary. I just feel like i can't trust them anymore, and i'm not 100% sure if it's true. sure even though i don't have any ill will i could be annoying, but if it is then just say so. if it is how they really feel then i don't mind and i'll try to change. But now when i need the person i really trust the most why are they so far away. why can't see them when i need them :'(
Everything just makes me more and more lonely, even if i want to step forward, i just can't do it alone.i don't know anything anymore. i want to change, i want to be the kind of person that could help her friends when they need it. But what exactly do i have to do?
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